This particular adventure started around 5am, on a Friday.. I was laying in bed tending to things on the internet. I had been, over the past few months, slowly tending to some device upgrades.. I replaced my notebook back in August or September, trading in my old one and getting a gift card (rather nice of Apple: not only was I able to recycle, but got something for my trouble).

I had been meaning to upgrade my current iPad. I knew exactly what I wanted, but was only holding off so as to best coordinate with likely delivery dates (as if big ticket items require a signature, it is best to be home to avoid days of delivery tag). So, unused gift card in hand, I redeemed it, and went to select my new iPad- all went fine, in cart, went to check out, even with fancy warranty (and, unlike buying it up-front like I usually do, I opted for the monthly charge-until-you-cancel approach, so I could potentially get more than 2 years of warranty service out of it, as I otherwise plan to use it for that long).. only: I didn’t see any option to use my gift card balance.

Some googling, and apparently official apple documents were stating that “you won’t see it, but it’ll automatically be deducted”.. which to me is stupid, but considering the average intelligence of people these days, as much as I don’t prefer it, I can see how it might reduce complaints levied against them. So, I went ahead and checked out.

A few minutes later, as notifications and charges were showing up, I noticed that no: my gift card didn’t look to be used. The full amount was being charged to my credit card, and Apple’s own status notifications were similarly showing the full amount.

So, saw a online support chat right there, clicked it, and was instantly talking to a support person. Explained the situation, and they soon informed me that this wasn’t within their domain of authority- I’d have to call support via phone. Ugh, I would have preferred talking to nobody, but if I actually want to USE my gift card ($310!) I might as well.

But: phone support didn’t open until 8am, and it was still in the 5am hour. Okay: I don’t have class until this afternoon, I’ve got the time, I’ll just tend to that first thing once they open up. And I did.. calling in just minutes after 8am.

Got the automated “please indicate your problem so we can best serve you”, and I explained the situation.. started directing me to gift card things, asking me for the gift card redemption code; interestingly, despite fully being an automated AI thing, they inserted keyboard keystroke sounds in the background to make it seem more real. I was amused at the pointlessness.

Little did I realize that was a harbinger of what was to come.

Soon got piped through to a person. Explained my situation again. Wrong department. Got forwarded. Explained my situation again. They looked at a few things.

And this is where the story really starts..

.. “sorry, we can’t adjust the order once it has shipped” ..

So.. once it has shipped, and I have given them my money, they can’t make any adjustments, even with one of their own issued gift cards? Really.. seems like it would simply be a few adjustments. Call a manager, get approval. Entirely internal to Apple.

But no. So: options?

“You can initiate a return, send it back, get refunded in about a week”

So wait.. in order to use my gift card balance.. upon receiving my shiny new iPad, I turn around, return it, then wait a week to get my money back, all so that I can buy the EXACT SAME THING AGAIN, this time with the gift card applied? I was incredulous, but once again, they weren’t joking.

I quickly optimized the situation, despite the stupidity. So, if I was to be returning an iPad only to effectively be buying it again, I wouldn’t want to wait a week, so I asked/indicated “so, basically I return this iPad then buy the exact same one?”

“Yes.” I was amazed how they didn't see this as being ridiculous in any way.

They passed me over to sales. I explained my situation again, indicating how I want to pay for this with my gift card balance.

They obliged me by making my order, and getting it purchased.

They were meticulous, listing out the various attributes, to ensure I was getting exactly what I ordered (apparently they couldn’t look up my existing order, which would have saved a lot of repeating.. talk about silos). But at least they were competent and diligent.. actually everyone I spoke with was.. they were just limited by the bounds of their jobs.

As it was wrapping up, I asked to confirm that my gift card balance was used. They check. Confused pause. No: it didn’t go through.

TWO iPads ordered. NO gift card used.

So they committed the same “mistake”, I guess, as I did: Glad it wasn’t just me. Maybe the sort of resolution I wanted would now be possible, for if I did it, clearly it is my fault, but if they did the same thing? Surely reason would now prevail..

Hah!

And you think the sales person could cancel it right there on the spot? NOPE. Passed back over to customer service.

Explained the situation and its evolution. They were surprised, and when I raised the whole “could you just apply the gift card? Charge back or something.. this whole thing would be completely resolved if you could just do that, and my time wouldn’t be wasted having to return an iPad pointlessly, and you wouldn’t be wasting money on shipping and whatever else”

Nope.. they couldn’t do that. But they did start on trying to cancel the second. Meanwhile, they stayed on the line while I was switched back over to sales to, you know, BUY A THIRD IDENTICAL iPAD. In the hopes I could finally use my gift card.

So, situations explained, starting to rant a bit, mostly due to how stupid it was. I was determined to get an iPad. I was increasingly frustrated at Apple’s apparent inability to adjust their own orders. Nothing external, this was entirely internal. Reeked of some rigid corporate policy, maybe to avoid scams or something.. but this is technically what managers are for: to make exceptions.

ESPECIALLY WHEN APPLE’S OWN PEOPLE COMMITTED THE SAME APPARENT MISTAKE AS I DID.

So clearly there were grounds for some exception. I kept suggesting something like this, but no, it was never an actionable option for them. I sort of felt bad.

Literally an example of Cipolla’s model of stupidity in action: they were hurting me (forcing me to have up to 3 iPad charges pending on my credit card, requiring me to manually go through a return, pointlessly return the exact item I want for no other reason that they couldn’t get the gift card to apply), they were hurting themselves (2 iPads out of inventory, shipping costs, labor costs). It was incredible, and frustrating.

So, third iPad added to cart, warranty. Just what I had in my original order. Round 3. And.. somewhere around here either I ranted again about how pointless it is, or mentioned to make sure the gift card was being applied (because each interaction was taking like 10-20 minutes, and I didn’t want to be on the phone with Apple ordering iPads I’d soon be returning all morning). The support person chimed in. The mystery was solved!

And it was stupid.

Apparently, when you opt for the monthly warranty service charge (versus paying for it all up-front), paying for it by gift card isn’t allowed, so the option simply goes away. I wasn’t aware of this. Neither was anyone I talked to, until this last support person did some real digging, and discovered it.

Also: they managed to cancel the 2nd iPad order.

So, I’m now expecting delivery of two perfectly good iPads on Monday.

Identical in every way, except one has a warranty on it that I’ll immediately be issuing a return for and sending back without opening.

The other I will then have to manually subscribe to the warranty on my own.

My gift card balance WAS used for that 3rd one.

And hey, if I wanted, I could just go to an Apple store and the return would “be a lot easier for me”.. yeah, save for the fact the nearest Apple store is 1.5 hours away.

What. A. Farce.

Not specifically an Apple problem, but a corporate bureaucracy run amok problem. I almost wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it. The utter and extreme pointlessness of it all.

And then we see if I am out the monthly charge for the warranty on the unopened and returned iPad. I have my doubts..